Life chat: ” Couple’s happiness; your actions matter, also your words.”

He said just once:_” you are safe now, I will erase the sadness in your eyes and soul from inside out..”
Real men don’t speak twice.
She is in front of the mirror smiling to nothing in particular, shinning, jiggling like a child; sometimes in the street people think she is crazy while she goes, walking- dancing to the sound of the music inside her heart.

Even tho every person have the real source of self happiness inside, the cost of contributing to someone else’s joy is, most of the time, nothing.

In relationships this contribution matters more. Men as women sometimes blame on the other for his personal disgrace, without taking the time for feeding his/her couple’s soul. Love born, but must be watered with patience, trust, faith, recognition, giving value to the other person’s participation as same as we give it to ourselves, acceptance, tolerance… ; and should be harvested and renewed constantly.

We hear it everyday: “Love is more a verb than a noun. It doesn’t need to be proved. Constantly saying “I love you” doesn’t make it real. Love is a constant action, is a life attitude; is all the things you do, not just a saying”. We all AGREE 100% and above with that, but this doesn’t mean that you should assume that the other knows your feelings, and doesn’t allow you to stop being romantic or to stop saying how much you care (if it is true and sustained of course by the daily things that you do for the person by your side).

Preserving the best words, the flattering comments, the jokes, the flirting smiles for strangers, just to appear to be charming;  but forgetting that the person by our side needs to hear that we think she/he is beautiful, or not paying attention to details like not to say thanks for each small thing they do for us even if it’s part of the daily duties, is an attitude that will always lead to pain. “Candle of the street, darkness of his house” my grandma used to say.

It could be simple like saying out loud : ” I love that shoulder!” Yes, think of it. How many times you have told this to your wife, looking at her while she is or both are doing any house work, and her shoulder comes out a bit, shinning due to the sweating? Think deeply how awful  your life will be, if the day comes when you don’t see that shoulder in front of you or around the house anymore.

Do not limit the warm chat to that specific moment when you enjoy of the other’s body; I mean simple things: to observe each other, fall in love with the partner everyday, with that smile, with the way the fingers move while serving your food, with the warm hand holding you to help you to cross the street (even when you both know that there’s no need for that, because you are both strong, independent and sufficient, but you also don’t forget how nice is to remind them with actions that they are not alone, we are there.)

Putting aside the excessive ego and every selfish action, might make the life more easy and happy. It is ok to say “I am sorry” and also “I’m scared” if you really are. Our couple needs to know that we have weaknesses, that can make mistakes and take responsibility for it, and also apologize and do everything that it takes to fix our error. As same time they should be sure that we need of them same like they need us. With those actions we are letting them know that we trust on them enough to expose our fears, and that we believe in their capability to help us overcome our difficulties. This attitude will reinforce the connection.

If the persons complaining about their marriage do that, they for sure will not have the need to tell flattering things to any outsider, they will start fixing their path from inside the doors of the home they are building.

So yes, doing things for our person is a must, as same as saying how much we care, with sweet words that make them fall for us again.

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